Farting is good. Farting is fantastic. If you are farting, then you’re not sharting. This seems simple, logical, and stupid. Truth is, that is correct. However, this becomes very important to you after eating bad food in India and you are pissing out of your ass.
It’s crazy too think about how I got the “anal squirts, or piss shits if you will.” I spent two weeks in Bombay and all I got were the lousy piss shits. I didn’t get them from drinking water in one of the world’s largest slums, which was delicious. I didn’t get them from eating street food, although Szechwan Cheese Frankies are fantastic. I didn’t get them from drinking soda out of the bottle without a straw, we all know plastic ruins the taste of a good soda. However, I did get them from eating a shitty breakfast at a 5-Star resort. I don’t know what it was about their fruit, but it gave me the piss shits. I first encountered this problem as I was walking down the street and had to fart. It was a sudden thought, one that was a little off. Instead, I sharted. I realized the error of my ways and then I realized I had to walk back 2 Km to the guesthouse. There is something to be said about walking 2 Km in a country with a wet, shitty ass where everybody is already staring at you.
After a day, this cleared up and two days later I had a successful fart. So, I will say that farting is an important bodily function that is overlooked too often. So fart and be happy. Remember, you could be sharting.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
"Farting, not Sharting" is the name of my next album.
You are so funny, I hate you.
You don't appreciate the tropics enough, perkypants. Wait until the next time you shart and it freezes solid in your drawers. You will miss Sri Lanka then. I Promise.
Post a Comment